What is it about dieting that makes you want to shovel pizza down your face? Oh, is that just me? I’m heading to Mexico next week for my brother’s wedding and I have been trying to tighten up this bubble butt of mine so I can strut around in a bathing suit without sucking in my stomach all day (who needs to breath normally?!) Day 1 – success. Day 2 – success. Day 3 – eh, these little chocolate chips can’t be too bad – look how cute they are!! Day 4 – licking my bowl clean and thinking there was NO way that I already ate all of my breakfast.

It’s so funny how that works. Often times when Im not concerned with my “image”, rather eating enough to power my workouts, I often am not hungry and while I always have a sweet tooth – I can pretty much avoid eating a gallon of ice cream at any given time. But as soon as the thought of “watching what I eat” enters my mind I’m a complete nutcase. It usually goes a little something like this:

Stage 1: The contemplative stage
This is usually when it hits me that I have an event coming up and I know that I need to focus on my diet some more. So, naturally I eat those “final meals” – pizza, pancakes, ice cream, cookies, lattes….

Stage 2: The commitment phase
I’ve timed out all of my meals perfectly including only buying enough groceries to cook with and having no snacks around the house. I feel like a winner and even attempt a few consecutive days of cardio. Plus, I still enjoy a latte but instead of milk I’ve gracefully started drinking almond milk.

Stage 3: The getting back into the groove phase
This is about the time that the one week mark hits. I’m unbreakable. I can cook a healthy meal, order out healthy even when I’m at a restaurant, and if you would put a donut in front of my face I would easily say no… until….

Stage 4: The getting bored phase
There are only so many combinations of chicken, fish, rice, salads, walnuts, and sweet potatoes that make me excited. So we move on to:

Stage 5: The experimental phase
Heck yes for zucchini and cauliflower. Who needs pasta when I can spiralize this zucchini into the most perfect green noodles?! Cauliflower gets turned into the most scrumptious pizza crust. Did someone say pancakes? Let me just whip up a batch of these PROTEIN pancakes.

Stage 6: Annoyance phase
If I hear one more person say this needs to be a lifestyle I am going to flip. I would prefer my lifestyle to not be void of pizza…

Stage 7: Just a little taste
Serving size says 15 g/fat for 2 tablespoons of almond butter. There’s NO way this scoop I just took out with my finger is 2 tablespoons, it looks like a teaspoon, so that doesn’t count right?

Stage 8: Treat meal phase
Okay, one day a week I am going to give myself a treat meal and eat everything I’ve wanted in ONE meal… ice cream and waffles totally go together…

 

Stage 9: Anti-social phase
You know – the time when you are low carb, low fat, low sugar, low calorie, grouchy brat phase when no one wants to talk to you… but hey – you’re looking thinner!

So there you have it. I’m pretty much in stage 7 right now and hanging on for dear life 🙂 Six days until Mexico… six days until Mexico.

-DBB